Cancer’s Legacy

What happen’s after cancer??

This is something I’ve been pondering about talking about for some time.

So I’ve finished treatment and life is getting back on track – gradually in some respects, in other’s I’ve thrown myself into things hell for leather. Leaving hospital that last time, being given permission to find my way back to the world of “normality” is excellent isn’t it?

Yes you’re right, it absolutely is.

But for me this is the time I was upset, frightened and scared more than I had been since the diagnosis stage (nothing will top that for terror). Because you see once the chemo, the radiotherapy, the constant blood tests and checks to keep tight control of how I am progressing are all over, well what then? What is to stop it rearing it’s ugly head again?

Whilst those nasty drugs were being pumped into my system to kill off any remaining cancer cells it can’t do me any harm, but now it’s stopped, what’s going on in there?

It had been discussed by my doctor that I may not be well enough to cope with all 14 cycles of chemo, as he reiterated many times, it is a hellish regime and many people struggle with it and don’t complete it. He would be happy if I got to 10 cycles. I knew I had to make it to 14. If it returned in the future and I hadn’t done my very utmost to beat it the first time round I would be crushed. There would always be that “What if?” “What if I’d done all 14 and not stopped early?”

So I’ve done all I can, as have the doctors and nurses who cared for me. Now I have scans every 3 months for 5 years to keep a check on things.

So back to my earlier comment, the hell for leather one. That would be, amongst other things, exercise. In the few months post treatment I have got back to my running, going from a walk/run of a mile to a hot, hilly run/jog/walk of 7.5 miles today (which was hellishly hard and brilliant in equal measure). I go to an outdoor fitness class once a week which I am gradually getting better at but still end up walking like a wolly for a few days afterwards! It’s great though, I really enjoy it and meeting new people in the process. I’ve walked 9 miles as a practice walk for later on in the year when I hope to do the Welsh 3 Peaks. This was quite epic. I really should have considered the fact that being in the Caerphilly area it wouldn’t be flat. But when our group was stood in a field and the leader pointed to the top of a mountain and explained that’s where we were headed I could’ve turned round and gone home!! Add in the torrential rain and at times strong wind, it was quite a day! What an achievement though 🙂
I’ve done 3 parkruns and knocked 3 minutes off my time.
Oh and I’ve finally got my bike out on the road 🙂
A fair amount for 3 months…

It’s hardly surprising that my body hurts sometimes. But when it does, and I’m not expecting it, it can be quite frightening. I’d had surging pain in a particular spot a few times and one day it hurt so much I rang the hospital for reassurance or an appointment. Well neither happened really, they rang back 4 days later. I try and be calm and not get worked up about things but every now and again I need someone to talk some sense into me.

It was quite fortunate that I had my scan results that week so I would have my questions answered at that appointment. The doctor was very pleased with how I was doing, nothing to be seen on the scan at all (they even remembered to scan the whole area this time!) so a sigh of relief all round.

Celebrations? No.

Because you see the day before, my sister had also been to get her scan results. She wasn’t able to breathe a sigh of relief.
And now after the shock we pick ourselves up and we get our game faces on again.



3 thoughts on “Cancer’s Legacy

  1. Oh Alice, what a mixture – all your achievements – you’ve done amazingly, and will absolutely romp the Welsh 3 Peaks. I am sure! But such sad news about your sister. As you say, game faces on…thinking of you both x

    Liked by 1 person

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